


EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE

by fallen_angel_7890



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-04 16:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4144269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallen_angel_7890/pseuds/fallen_angel_7890
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story about Clarke, rich girl with everything but one thing she values the most... love. At least until now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Roses of Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction so go easy on me ;)  
> Also english is not my native language so I apologize for mistakes that I made and will make in my future work.  
> I hope you enjoy.

Summer break was over and another college year started for Clarke and her two best friends Octavia and Raven. It was time to forget about her ex boyfriend Finn and get back to her friends. Sun was shining outside and Clarke just woke up, feeling rested and ready for another year of studying and drama. She grabbed her phone to see if anyone texted her. There was one message from Finn.  
It said: “Clarke, please let me fix things. I know I screwed up big time but I really love you.”  
She rolled her eyes and closed the message. Not again... she thought. This was not the first time Finn begged her for forgiveness but she promised herself that it has to be the last. Clarke got up from her bed and went to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, got dressed and packed her stuff. As she went downstairs she has encountered her butler.

“Good morning, Miss Clarke, would you like to eat with your mother ?” Richard asked.

“Good morning, Richard. I don’t have time, I am already late so I will buy something on my way to Octavia.” Clarke replied.  
Clarke opened the garage and was standing in front of 12 really expensive cars. It was not a secret that her family was rich. Her father passed away when she was 16 and her mother Abby was a successful business woman. They had their own company called Griffin Consolidated.  
Clarke picked the first car she saw and it was white Chevrolet Suburban that she got from her father for her 16th birthday. Her phone was buzzing and she looked to see that it was Octavia calling.

“Oh my God, I am late again…” She thought to herself.  
She answered.  
“O, I am so sorry, I got up too late. I am on my way to Hersey’s.” she said.  
“Well no problem, I am used to you being late. I will be waiting for you there. Raven is with me too.” Octavia replied.

“Okay, I am there 4 min tops.” Clarke said. She hung up and started to drive.  
It was beautiful Monday morning and she felt really happy. After that ugly break up with Finn she thought she would never get over the pain. Now she did not even feel anything for him but pleasure that he doesn’t control her life anymore. She parked right outside Hersey’s, their favorite café and saw Octavia and Raven whispering about some cute boy sitting at the table beside them.

“Hey you two.” Clarke said.

“It was about time, Princess.” Octavia said with smile on her face.

“No need to be rude O, she came, that’s important, haha.” Raven teased.  
O and Raven already ordered for Clarke, fries and burger, her usual.

“So tell us everything about you and Finn, what happened? We still have one hour before class starts so hurry up.” Raven said.

Clarke hesitated because she never wanted to remember that time, ever again, but she knew that her two best friends wouldn’t let her get away so easy so she started talking.

“Well there is not much to talk about. He was acting like an idiot, I couldn’t bear with it anymore so I broke up with him.” Clarke tried to stay closed as much as possible.

“Come on, you know you can tell us anything.” Raven said and hugged Clarke. Octavia agreed and tried to encourage her to say some more.

“Guys, I don’t like to remember that.” She finally said, bowing her head down, trying to hold back her tears.  
Raven saw her emotions and looked at O just so she could see Octavia having the same face expression as her own.

Raven couldn’t let her go through this alone so she decided to help Clarke no matter what.  
“What happened between you two? Please Clarke, we just want to help. After everything that we’ve been through you know you can trust us.”

Clarke looked at Raven and Octavia, took a deep breath and leaned on the table.  
“After our one year anniversary he started acting weird. He started checking my mail, my messages, who called me, he started following me around when I was with Monty and Jasper, he started being really jealous and possessive. I confronted him and he punched me. That’s why I wasn’t replying on your messages. I was in a hospital without my phone.” Clarke told them everything now. Everything that there was to tell.

Raven looked more angry than shocked but Octavia’s facial expression was just pure shock.

“Tell me you reported that to cops.” Octavia asked, now being pissed.  
“My mom did, don’t worry. He is still texting me, but I am not replying.” Clarke said being a little sad but more relieved that she told Octavia and Raven something that she couldn’t keep only to herself anymore.  
Clarke took a receipt and left the money on the counter. She looked at her watch saying: “It’s 7:30, we need to go.”

Octavia and Raven took their stuff and started walking to Clarke’s car. They got in the car and Raven said. :” I can’t believe that she has been through so much and we weren’t there for her. How could Finn do that to her?!”  
“I have no idea, but we have to keep him away from her.” Octavia said, now being scared for Clarke.  
They drove to college in silence. Music was playing on the radio but not loud enough for situation not to be weird. Clarke parked near entrance and greeted Monty and Jasper who were sitting on bench talking about games.  
Octavia and Raven went to greet someone without a word and left Clarke alone.

Clarke was glad that it all started really well. She hoped that this year would be better than last one.  
Suddenly someone grabbed her arm and pulled her. She turned around and saw Finn.

“What do you want from me?!” She asked trying to free herself from his grasp.

“Talk to me Clarke! Give me another chance, you know that no police is going to stop me! “ He yelled, tightening his grasp around her arm.  
Monty and Jasper came running towards them as they saw their fight.  
Jasper pushed Finn and Finn fell down but was quickly on his feet, angry and frustrated.  
Monty was trying to comfort Clarke so she would calm down but it was nothing he could do. She was crying.  
Clarke only wanted for class to be finished. She wanted to go home and watch Netflix just to calm herself down. After the class she was in a hurry. She wanted to get away as soon as possible and she didn’t realize someone coming from another direction. She bumped into this girl and her stuff fell down.

“Watch where you are going! Jesus!” She said being obviously mad.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to..” Girl started but got interrupted.

“The hell you didn’t!” Clarke said.  
She looked up to see the most beautiful girl she has ever seen in her entire life.  
Her mouth opened but there was nothing but silence.  
After a few seconds Clarke managed to say: “I’m Clarke.”  
“ I know who you are. Actually, everyone here knows who you are.” Girl replied.  
“I’m Lexa.” She said.  
“Nice to meet you Lexa.” Clarke said. It was obvious that the only thing she could think about was the way Lexa looked.

“You too, Clarke.” Lexa said with a smile on her face.


	2. Roses of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke found her soulmate, her one and only love, but is she going to listen to her head or her heart? Will her love be enough?

 

Clarke wanted to know Lexa so bad. What she felt for that girl was indescribable.

“Are you taking History class?” words just came out of Clarke’s mouth, leaving her in shock.

“I believe so, why?” Lexa asked with suspicious look.

“I thought we might get together sometimes and study?” Clarke couldn’t believe that she just asked that. She was somehow unable to control her words around Lexa.  
  
“Yeah, sure. I just need to find my room.” Lexa replied, looking at the map in her hands.

“Me too.” Clarke said seeing an opportunity to get closer to Lexa.

“Which room are you in?”

“Hmmm… let me see. It says room 13c.” Lexa said looking really confused and by Clarke’s standards really hot while trying to coordinate with that map.

“Oh, God! Stop it!” Clarke thought to herself. “You can’t think about her that way, what the hell?!” She snapped from her thoughts and looked at Lexa with surprise all over her face. “Me too!”

They started looking for room 13c and once they found it, they unpacked their stuff and went to bed. Clarke couldn’t fall asleep because the only thing on her mind was Lexa. On the other side of their room, Lexa was unable to fall asleep too.

“Why is she so nice to me?” Lexa thought.

“I am nowhere near her league and once she realizes that I’m gay she will tell everyone.”

Lexa hugged her pillow and fell asleep. She will deal with all the problems tomorrow.

 

The next morning she woke up at 7:15 am, she got up, brushed her teeth and caught herself looking at Clarke sleeping.

“She is so beautiful…” Lexa thought but deep inside she knew that she could never have Clarke for herself.

Two of them were so different. Clarke was rich; she had whatever she wanted since she was just a little girl. Lexa on the other hand was not so blessed. Her parents left her when she was just one year old. She grew up in foster home and most of the time did not have everything she wanted. Also most of her friends she met online while she was playing games. They seemed nice and understanding and they never did anything to hurt her.

Lexa shook every thought she had on her mind about Clarke and went to the kitchen. She made some coffee, enough for herself and Clarke when she gets up. Lexa grabbed her laptop and logged on to World of Warcraft. She has been playing it for 8 years and was totally hooked on. It was rainy Tuesday and they had no school because of some arrangement going around. Clarke woke up at 10:30 am.

“Good morning.” Clarke said with her husky, morning voice.

“Morning, Clarke.” Lexa replied being fully concentrated on the game.

Clarke felt strong connection between Lexa and her from the start but she denied it because she didn’t want to humiliate herself if Lexa didn’t feel the same way. She got dressed and went to the kitchen to make coffee but when she saw coffee on the kitchen table she laughed out loud which was not what she intended.

“What’s going on? What’s so funny?” Lexa asked logging out of her game and slowly walking towards Clarke.

“Nothing, I just didn’t think that you could make coffee.” Clarke teased Lexa.

“Why not? I just wanted to make something for my new…” Lexa hesitated.

“…roommate.” She couldn’t control her actions either. Just like Clarke.

Clarke felt butterflies in her stomach and she got closer to Lexa. A bit too close. She wanted to be sure that this connection is both sides. If Lexa backed out that would mean that she imagined it all, and if Lexa stayed in place that would mean that she feels something too. Lexa did not move. Not even an inch. Clarke wanted to kiss her so badly, every inch of her body was telling her to go for it, but she got scared and backed off.

Lexa also wanted that kiss to happen so she did something that surprised her and Clarke.  
She leaned in and kissed Clarke gently but with enough passion to give Clarke a clue.

“I am so sorry Clarke, I don’t… I don’t know what happened.” Lexa said walking away from Clarke slowly.

“It’s okay! I…” Clarke started but couldn’t say it out loud.

“Never mind, we should forget that this ever happened.” She finished their conversation with bowing her head and looking away. She wanted to look convincing as much as possible and she did. At least to Lexa.

Lexa nodded and walked away.

The rest of the day passed mostly in silence. They exchanged a couple of words over a few hours left. Clarke sat on her bed looking through the window at the sky. She knew her mother would never approve that relationship. She was really strict as a parent and Clarke was not allowed to do anything that would humiliate her family. And this was definitely something that could count as humiliation.

On the other side of the room Lexa was looking at the ceiling thinking about Clarke.

She didn’t know how Clarke was feeling about it and she was not going to ask her either. At that moment Clarke’s phone rang. It was Finn again.

“Shit, really? Again?” Clarke said looking at her phone. Lexa could tell that Clarke was scared.

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asked.

That was the longest conversation they had after the kiss, Clarke thought.

“My ex, Finn. He has been harassing me since our breakup.”

“Do you want me to tell him to back off?” Lexa didn’t want for it to sound so protective like they were in a relationship but it did.

“No, it’s okay, I won’t answer.” Clarke said and put her phone under her pillow.

Lexa fell asleep quickly after checking her messages.

 The next morning Clarke woke up before Lexa and made breakfast for them both. Lexa forgot to set her alarm so Clarke had to wake her up.

“Come on Lex, it’s time to go.” Clarke said shaking Lexa gently.

“Nooo, a little bit longer, please.” Lexa shouted turning around and covering herself with blanket.

“There is no time left, come on.” Clarke begged.

“Okay, okay… But I am not pleased.” Lexa said with sleepy voice.

When Lexa got dressed and they finished their breakfast, Clarke and Lexa went to the Biology class. While they were walking there, Octavia and Raven showed up.

“Hey Princess, who is that friend of yours?” Raven asked.

“Princess?” Lexa said smiling, and a bit teasing.

Clarke pushed her gently and smiled back.

“Raven, O, meet Lexa.” Clarke introduced.

“Hey Lexa.” They both said.

“Hey guys.” Lexa replied and turned back to Clarke. “We are going to be late, let’s go.”

Lexa started dragging Clarke so she just said quick hello to her two friends. When they arrived only two seats were empty. They sat beside one another and Clarke saw Finn a few rows in front. Her heart started pumping and she started shaking unintentionally. Lexa saw it and took Clarke’s hand in hers. Finn saw that and got even madder. Clarke liked the way it felt having Lexa’s hand in hers. The only thing she wanted from now on is Lexa. Her body, her soul, her everything…

“What’s wrong Princess?” Lexa asked with worried look on her face.

“It’s… It’s Finn, my ex.” Clarke said and nodded so Lexa could see who he was.

Finn was a very strong and muscular guy with long brown hair and that pretty face that every girl would fall for. He was also very rich. His father George inherited an oil company called Nexus. Clarke knew his sister Olivia and she was on good terms with her, but after their breakup she stopped texting.

Finn knew he couldn’t do anything in class because it would get him expelled. He was in this school because his father had a connection.

As soon as they walked out Finn started walking towards Clarke but Lexa stopped him.

“Look, she doesn’t want you anywhere near her, same as me so I suggest you to back off because I can make your life a living hell.” Lexa said pointing a finger at Finn.

Clarke got scared because she thought Finn would beat the crap out of Lexa, but on her surprise he turned on his heel and walked away without saying a word.

Clarke didn’t realize she was holding Lexa’s hand until Lexa looked down with a smile on her face.

“I’m sorry, it was accidentally.” Clarke said, pulling her hand out of Lexa’s.

“It’s okay, I was afraid too.” Lexa said taking a deep breath.

“No you weren’t!” Clarke said with a suspicious look.

“Yes I was, it’s called bluffing sweetie.” Lexa replied.

School was over so Clarke decided to invite Lexa to join Octavia, Raven and her in Hersey’s. Lexa agreed and Clarke said that she will drive them.

They got to the parking lot and Clarke unlocked her car. Lexa’s jaw dropped as she saw what Clarke was driving.

“Whaaat?!” She said in surprise. “ Nice one Princess.”

“My dad bought it for me for my 16th birthday.” Clarke said looking at her car.

At once, Lexa became sad. She stopped teasing Clarke and was barely talking. Clarke realized it and asked Lexa: “Hey Lex, what happened? Why are you sad?”

“It’s nothing, just… how can you even look at someone like me? I am not in your league.” Lexa managed to say it out loud.

Clarke’s eyes widened and she couldn’t believe that Lexa would think that about her. She pulled over and looked through the window.

“I’m sorry if I offended you Clarke but that is just the way it is.” Lexa said almost crying. She wanted to get out of the car so badly but she also wanted to be with Clarke.

“You think that I am with you, here, right now, just so I can take advantage of you and feel better than you?” Clarke asked, obviously disappointed.

“I… No.” Lexa replied shortly.

Clarke turned the car around and cancelled the plans with Octavia and Raven. She started driving towards college.

“What are you doing, Clarke?”

“I’m taking you back to college since you think you are not in my league.” Clarke said looking pissed off.

“ I didn’t mean it like that, I…” Lexa started.

“You know what? Never mind!” Clarke said focused on road in front of her.

Clarke couldn’t be mad at her. At least not in her own heart or mind. She knew she wanted only Lexa and nothing but Lexa and that was killing her. Every breath she took after that fight felt like all goodbyes she heard in her life, all said to her at once.

When they came to their room, Clarke sat on her bed without a word. She didn’t even eat anything. Lexa went outside. She wanted to clear her head and she was so mad at herself for possibly screwing up only chance she had with Clarke Griffin, the most beautiful girl she has ever seen. That’s what she thought because she saw how Clarke reacted. She thought she saw her true feelings. After all these thoughts Lexa started crying, punching the wall in front of her with her bare hands, not feeling any pain except the one in her heart.


	3. Roses of Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa realizes how powerful her words are when she almost loses Clarke..

****

After Lexa got that anger and fear out of her, she decided to go home. To Clarke. To college.

It was rainy night full of dark. Nothing but dark. That’s how Lexa felt walking down the street, rain merging with her tears while she stared at the only picture she had with Clarke.

“What have I done?! I am so fucking stupid!” She said while sobbing and covering her face with hands. All of a sudden her phone rang.

“Hello?” Lexa said, wanting for it to be Clarke.

“Hello Lexa, it’s Anya, how are you? Is college going well?”

“Oh, hey Anya.. it’s okay, it’s going fine. Wait… why are you calling me at 2 am?!” Lexa said shocked. She didn’t expect call from her sister any time soon let alone at 2 am.

“I just wanted to see if you are busting your ass studying haha.” Anya said teasing her without knowing what is going on.

“Yeah, yeah, I am haha.” Lexa said trying to hold back her tears.

After that she hung up and got back to walking alone in the dark. It was 3 am and Lexa just arrived at collage and sneaked into her room without anyone noticing. She changed her clothes, dried her hair and went to bed.

The next morning she woke up but Clarke was already gone. She wanted to talk about their fight but seeing Clarke later at her History class proved her that Clarke didn’t want to talk. Every time they exchanged looks Clarke looked away. She tried her best to avoid Lexa because she was deeply hurt and needed time to think about everything.

Lexa understood Clarke’s pain and backed off for few days. They didn’t talk much when they were at their room. Lexa tried to start a conversation but Clarke somehow always found the way to close it.

One day Clarke couldn’t take the silence and the pressure anymore and she took her Chevrolet and drove around the town at 1:30 am. She thought about every single thing Lexa said and couldn’t see why she said it. Clarke loved Lexa probably too much and that devastated her more and more every day. Soon, tears started rolling down Clarke’s face and road became unclear. She was speeding and didn’t see the wolf that was standing in the middle of the road. Clarke panicked and turned her car left, lost control and crashed into a tree.

Seconds felt like hours while she was trying to clear her vision and process what happened. She touched her head and felt warm blood streaming down her fingers. She closed her eyes and the only thing she said before it was Lexa’s name.

Lexa was worried about Clarke because it was already 5 am and Clarke was nowhere to be found.

“Where is she?” Lexa thought to herself while nervously walking across the room.

She took her phone, got over her fear and dialed Clarke’s number. Her phone was ringing but she wasn’t answering.

“Come on Clarke, now is not the time to ignore me.” Lexa said nervously.

Lexa tried several times but nothing. Her phone rang but it wasn’t Clarke. It was hospital calling. Lexa took a deep breath although she was unable to breathe properly. She was hoping it wasn’t Clarke.

“Hello, this is Lexa.” Lexa said with shaky voice.

“Hello, Miss Woods, we are calling because this was the first number we found on Clarke’s phone. She had an accident. I am so sorry for calling you this late but we had to inform someone.” Nurse said being too calm in that kind of a situation.

“I… I will be right there. Is she okay?!” Lexa said sobbing.

“We don’t know anything yet, she had a concussion and lost a lot of blood. She is not waking up.” Nurse said hesitating.

Lexa took her jacket and started running. She ran for 15 minutes without noticing, without stopping. The only thing she felt was fear and adrenaline rush because the only thing that was important was lying in the hospital bed fighting for life.

She entered the hospital and rushed to find Clarke.

“Where is she?! I need to find her, I need to find Clarke Griffin!” She yelled at some nurse that approached her.

“Room 156. I can show you where but I am not sure if you will be able to see her.” Nurse said and started walking down the hallway.

Lexa followed the nurse feeling terrified and she tried to hold back her tears but as soon as she saw Clarke lying in bed helpless she couldn’t help it. She started sobbing and entered the room although she was not allowed to. Lexa sat beside Clarke’s bed, she took Clarke’s hand in hers. Right after she did that Clarke’s heart rate raised. Lexa knew Clarke could hear her and she wanted to tell her everything she was feeling because she didn’t know if there is going to be another chance.

“Princess I am so sorry. I know this is my fault and I promise you I will never leave you, ever again. I love you..” Lexa said, putting a bracelet on Clarke’s hand so when she wakes up she will know Lexa was here the whole time.

She was crying like that for some time and realized… she had to call Octavia and Raven and tell them what happened. Lexa took Clarke’s phone and found their numbers. She called Raven first.

“Hey Princess, it’s 5:45 am, why are you calling me?” Raven answered.

Lexa was unable to hold back her tears and she said: “Raven, it’s me, it’s Lexa. Clarke…Clarke had an accident. Please, come to the hospital.”

Raven dropped her phone, she immediately picked it up and dialed Octavia’s number.

“Raven fuck off. Stop calling so early, I swear..” Raven interrupted her.

“O, it’s important. Clarke had an accident. I will pick you up in a few, be ready!”

Both of them arrived at the hospital 10 minutes later, they rushed in only to find Lexa sitting on the floor, back against the wall, staring at one spot.

“Lexa, what happened?! What’s going on?!” Raven said, gently shaking Lexa.

“I…I don’t know. We had a fight and she left and…and that is when they called me to come. They won’t let me see her.” Lexa got up and walked to Clarke’s room. Seeing Clarke so helpless and being unable to help Clarke made Lexa mad. She wanted to forget about it all. She wanted to wake up from this ugly dream; she wanted it to be over.

The next day Lexa woke up at the hospital right next to Clarke’s bed. She saw there was no change so she went to get a cup of coffee. Walking down the hallway she saw someone familiar, someone she saw but could not remember from where. Lexa was so shaken up that she didn’t realize it was Finn. When Lexa realized, she turned around and started running towards him. Once she reached him, Lexa pulled him and he turned around.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Lexa shouted.

“I came to see Clarke and if you have problem with that I suggest you keep it to yourself.” Finn said obviously frustrated.

“You are not getting anywhere near her ever again. I won’t let you.” Lexa replied, feeling every bone in her body shaking. She was afraid; she knew he could overpower her easily.

At that exact moment, he saw police taking statements from witnesses and he started to walk away slowly saying to Lexa: “This is not over.”

She took a deep breath and she started walking down the hallway to Clarke’s room but when she got there, nurse was yelling: “Doctor! I need help here, she is waking up!”

Lexa felt relieved. She knew she will be able to talk to Clarke soon.

“When can I see her?” Lexa said impatiently.

“Soon Miss Woods, I promise. We just need to run a few more tests just to be sure that she is okay. After that, if everything will be alright, you can take her home.”

That sentence filled Lexa with such joy and happiness.

“Thank you doctor. I will be waiting here.” She said while finding some place to sit.

 

“Where…where is she? Where is Lexa? Where am I?” Clarke asked doctor, grabbing his hand. She was dizzy and her sight was blurry.

“Calm down Miss Griffin. You had an accident and you are in the hospital. Miss Woods is right outside. Do you want me to call her?” Doctor asked trying to calm Clarke down.

She nodded so he opened the door and approached Lexa.

“She wants to see you, Miss Woods.” He said.

Before she entered the room Lexa promised to herself that she had to be strong, for Clarke, but as soon as she entered the room tears started rolling down her face and she took Clarke’s hand in hers placing a gentle kiss on her hand.

“I’m sorry Princess; I won’t say anything like that, ever again. I said it once and I almost lost you…” Lexa said sobbing.

“Lexa don’t… It’s okay, I’m fine. Don’t worry. Just… just take me home.” Clarke said looking into Lexa’s eyes, tightening the grip around her hand.

When Clarke looked down she realized that Lexa’s favorite bracelet was on her hand. She couldn’t take it anymore. Lexa loved her and she loved Lexa. What was the problem than? What was keeping her from telling Lexa her true feelings? Clarke looked at Lexa and she wiped away her tears. Now or never, Clarke thought.

“I love you too Lex.” Clarke smiled at Lexa, cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her like never before.

They shared a kiss that was full of pain, desire and unconditional love.

 


	4. Roses of Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally found her reason for living. Will it last forever? Is Lexa telling her everything?

****

That kiss felt like heaven to both Clarke and Lexa. Every feeling they had, every thought, pain, love, sacrifice, dream… everything was in that kiss. The kiss they shared made them forget about every problem they had. It could’ve lasted forever.

Clarke loved the way Lexa kissed her; it was so passionate yet gentle and protective. She didn’t want it to stop, Clarke wanted it to last as long as possible but she figured she needed to make their relationship official so she backed off and looked at Lexa.

“I want to make it official; I want everyone to know your soul belongs to me, your body and you whole. I want them to know that you are a part of my heart now. I love you more than I can describe with my words.” Clarke waited for Lexa to reply.

Lexa looked shocked. She wanted to tell Clarke the same thing but she had something else on her mind now.

“What about your mom? Does she know? I mean...” Lexa looked a little bit scared.

“She doesn’t know and I don’t think she will be pleased but I don’t care. I need you and only you.” Clarke said taking Lexa’s hand in hers.

Lexa felt relieved somehow even though Clarke didn’t do anything. Clarke was the only one who could calm Lexa and make her feel important.

“Fine. I will go with you if you want to tell your mother. I can’t stand this distance between us, since...you know... since our fight.” Lexa said bowing her head down.

“There will be no more distance. Do you want that? Do you want to be with me?” Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheeks and came closer, so close that she could now feel Lexa’s breath on her lips.

Lexa smiled when she felt Clarke’s hand on her waist.

“I do. I want to be with you Princess.”

“Oh yes? How much?” Clarke said placing a kiss on Lexa’s neck and playing with her hair.

Lexa closed her eyes and moaned.

“Clarke, we can’t…we can’t do it here. This is a hospital and anyone could walk in on us... Clarke please, listen to me...”

“Are you afraid Commander?” Clarke laughed and backed off a little bit.

“Wha… How did you know...” Lexa stood there, surprised with her eyes wide open.

“Well you kind of left your game open and I saw that rogue thing, I don’t know... So I logged in and someone whispered something about being in a group and addressed you as a Commander.” Clarke smiled with a pleased look on her face. “Nice to meet you Commander” She teased.

“Stop it Princess. Pack your things, I am taking you home.” Lexa said leaving the room.

“As you wish, Commander.”

They left after Clarke packed all of her things. Since Clarke crashed her car they had to walk to the college. It wasn’t so far away so they didn’t mind.

All of a sudden Clarke felt dizzy and stopped for a second.

“Are you okay?! Do you need anything? Should I call the ambulance?” Lexa freaked out, holding Clarke’s hand so she can regain balance.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a little dizziness. I will be fine once we eat something.” Clarke said.

Their conversation got interrupted by Raven and Octavia.

“Oh my God, Clarke, you are out! It’s so good to see you!” Raven hugged Clarke and greeted Lexa.

“Yea, I’m out, do you want to go to Hersey’s? I am starving.” Clarke said hugging Octavia now.

“Sure, let’s go.” They both replied at the same time and laughed at each other.

“I will wait for you in our room. Just text me if you need anything.” Lexa said.

“What? No, no, no! You are coming with me. Don’t be silly.” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and pulled her closer.

“Are you sure they won’t mind?” Lexa whispered. “ I don’t want to disturb you three.”

“You can’t.” Clarke pulled Lexa even closer, grabbed her waist and kissed her in front of Octavia and Raven, leaving them in shock.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaat?! Princess you didn’t say anything. I…” This left Raven without a word. And that was rarity.

Lexa felt their eyes on her and Clarke and she didn’t mind. She wanted everyone to know that Clarke was hers and that she loved Clarke more than her own life.

“And you thought you knew everything Reyes.” Clarke winked at Raven and entered Hersey’s.

She then turned back to Lexa, hugged her and whispered : “You are my everything.”

Lexa hugged her back, leaving a kiss on her neck, the one that not even Octavia and Raven could see.

They all together ordered their food. Raven couldn’t take that Clarke didn’t tell her.

“How long has this been going on, Princess?” she asked Clarke and turned to Lexa immediately “I trusted you to tell me if this happens.” She said trying to be dead serious, obviously teasing Lexa and being unable to hide her laugh.

“It feels like forever.” Clarke replied and kissed Lexa one more time which forced Lexa to put her hand around Clarke.

“Guys, get a room!” Raven said eating her fries and taking a sip of her juice.

It was already 8:40 pm so they paid and Raven gave Lexa and Clarke a ride home.

Once they reached their room Clarke threw herself on the bed.

“Aaah, this feels so good!” she said hugging her pillow.

Lexa laughed out loud and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

“What is so funny? It just feels good.” Clarke said not opening her eyes until she figured what Lexa meant.

“Yeah, a little too good, haha!” Lexa teased Clarke.

“You are gross Lexa!” Clarke punched Lexa and she fell on her bed.

They took a moment just to look at each other’s eyes.

“Is this really happening?” Lexa asked playing with Clarke’s hair.

“Yes, this is happening and it will last forever. I promise.” Clarke leaned down and kissed Lexa passionately and without hesitating. Lexa returned the favor and switched their positions. She smiled at Clarke and slipped her hand under Clarke’s shirt. She moaned and pulled Lexa even closer leaving no space between their bodies. Their kissed became more passionate, not being so gentle anymore. Lexa knew how to provoke Clarke, every time Clarke started enjoying it, Lexa stopped. It made Clarke angry, but in a good way.

“Commander.. please.. do it already!” She said grabbing her sheets. 

Lexa enjoyed it, she liked being in charge, in everything. Bed was not an exception.

“I didn’t hear you really well; you have to say it louder.” Lexa said placing a trail of kisses on Clarke’s neck.

“Commander, please… please do it!” Clarke moaned in Lexa’s ear.

“Since you asked so nicely, Princess.” Lexa started to unbutton Clarke’s shirt and after a short time they weren’t wearing any clothes whatsoever. There was nothing in between their naked bodies now. Clarke grabbed Lexa’s neck and pulled her for another kiss. It was already late but they didn’t care. The only thing they cared about was proving to each other their love. After a few hours they became exhausted and Lexa lied down to the bed.

“This was…wow!” Lexa said sighing. Her heart was pumping really hard whenever she was around Clarke and this time she had her whole. Her body and her soul, her love and her dreams… Lexa had it all and she couldn’t have been happier.

“I know, right… We should do this more often. Although I need to teach you some manners.” Clarke rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder and she pulled herself closer to Lexa putting her leg between Lexa’s.

They fell asleep together for the first time under the sky full of stars and finally having each other.

 

“Clarke open up, you are going to be late!” Raven shouted “I am coming in, you better not be naked or some shit because I will have to live with that picture in my head forever!” She finally entered the room only to see Lexa and Clarke sleeping together.

“Well that escalated quickly.” Raven said raising her eyebrows. “Now I will have to live with the picture of you AND Lexa naked, forever.”

“What…what time is it?” Clarke opened her eyes just a little bit because sun was irritating her. “Oh shit, Lexa, get up, we are going to be late!” She said now being fully awake.

“What? Why… why are you waking me… noo.” Lexa covered herself over the head with blanket and turned her back at Clarke.

“Shit Raven you scared me! What are you doing here?” Clarke jumped.

“Well what do you think, who woke you two up?” Raven placed her hands on her hips and looked at Clarke with suspicious look.

“You should knock next time.” Clarke said.

“I did. Actually I almost demolished your room but you seemed like you didn’t even care.” Raven said looking at Clarke. This day she looked like shit. Her hair was messy, she had hickeys on her neck and nail marks all over her back and arms.

“Rough night I see? Lexa was playful?” Raven winked at Clarke and she threw a pillow at Raven.

Raven left their room and called Octavia.

“Hey O, I am waiting for you in front of Clarke’s room, when are you coming?” Raven said walking up and down the hallway.

“Hey Reyes, I will be there in no time. Why don’t you go inside and wait with Clarke and Lexa?”

“I tried. I failed. They were…sleeping.” Raven tried to get away with that answer but Octavia figured it out and shouted: “Were they naked!?”

“Yes, O, they were naked…sleeping…together.”

“Oh my God, that was quick, way to go Princess!” Octavia grabbed her bag and hung up.

Clarke and Lexa finished and came out looking slightly better but hickeys and nail marks were totally visible.

“Ready you two?” Raven already started walking not paying attention to Clarke and Lexa.

They arrived to Biology and sat down near the exit because there was no sun.

“Today we are talking about one-celled organisms, called prokaryotes…” college professor started…

Clarke wasn’t bored this time and it was odd even to her. Usually she couldn’t wait for class to be over. For the first time she looked at Finn after all this time and she felt nothing. He looked at her and didn’t seem frustrated; on the contrary, he looked calm, indifferent.

It was time for lunch and Raven, Octavia, Clarke and Lexa went to the school cafeteria and took some sandwiches, sat on the bench in front of college building and talked. They actually embraced Lexa like she was with them from the beginning.

“Hey guys, do you want to come to my house this weekend? I was thinking Netflix, sleepover and booze. Like a lot of it.” Clarke asked looking at the sky, trying to get some tan.

“Sure, why not. You coming, O?” Raven asked Octavia.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it.”

“And you Lexa?” Clarke turned to her grabbing her bottle of water.

“Do I have a choice?” Lexa seemed confused and her answer made Clarke’s friends laugh.

“Come on, we have to go to English.” Clarke looked at her watch realizing the time passed too fast.

This was one of those days where they just came to classes for everyone to see them. They didn’t have to do anything and no one would ask them. Lexa was bored and she started playing with Clarke’s hand. Clarke smiled looking at the professor but she knew Lexa was looking at her.

“Are you enjoying…” Clarke smiled “…Commander.”

Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand and tightened the grasp around it. Clarke wanted to kiss Lexa so badly but she was not in a place to do that. It made her even hornier when Lexa placed her hand on Clarke’s leg. Clarke moaned but this time not out loud.

“You will get punished when we come to our room. I promise you that.” Lexa said sliding her hand up and down Clarke’s leg.

The class was finished so they left, not waiting for Raven or Octavia.

“You are so done.” Lexa pushed her against the door and Clarke laughed trying to free herself. “Let me go! Come on Lexa! I need to pack my th…”

When they entered the room all they could look at were empty drawers and stacked beds.

“What the hell!? Where… where are our things?!” Lexa yelled looking shocked.


	5. Roses of Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally finds out the truth about her mother and her opinion on Clarke's life.

Lexa entered the room and stood there in silence now. Clarke had that suspicious look on her face as she thought this was Lexa’s way to get back at her.

“What is going on?” Clarke asked slowly walking towards Lexa.

“I have no idea Clarke, I just came with you, I was with you the whole time..” She said while sitting in the middle of the room.

“Do we report this or..?”

“We should do it. Just make a list of all things missing.” Clarke said not realizing there is nothing left.

As soon as she said that, Lexa’s eyes widened and she started to panic.

“What? What is going on Lex?” Clarke asked.

“My.. my phone! It’s missing, someone took it! Clarke I have to get it back! “ Lexa’s hands started to shake and tears were streaming down her face.

“Wow, wow! Slow down! We can get you another one, it’s no big deal, relax.” Clarke looked oddly surprised because Lexa knew she would do anything for her and buying a new phone was not a problem.

“No, you don’t understand! Everything we had was on that phone! Our pictures, messages…” Lexa bowed her head and placed her hands on her neck.

Clarke realized what Lexa was talking about…

“Do you have it password protected? Please tell me you have it password protected…” Clarke was scared because she knew if this phone gets in wrong hands many things will fall apart.

“I…I have password on messages only but it’s too easy to break.”

At that moment Clarke had only one person on her mind… Only person who would do that such a thing. Finn.

Her facial expression went from worried to pissed off.

“I will get that phone back. In the mean time call the police from someone else’s phone and tell them everything.” Clarke left the room without saying anything else.

Lexa borrowed Raven’s phone. She called the police and they said that if she has nothing on the person who might have done that that they can’t do much so she called Clarke.

“I called the police and they said that they can’t do anything. What should I do?” Lexa asked obviously scared.

“Tell Raven to take you to my place. You can’t stay here. She knows where the keys are and since my mother is on a business trip you have the whole house to yourself. I have to deal with something but as soon as I finish, I will come back to you. I love you.” Clarke said.

“Love you too, Princess.” Lexa hung up and Raven took her to Clarke’s place.

Meanwhile Clarke visited Finn. As soon as he opened, she ran inside not even waiting for an invite.

“What the hell is your problem?! Was it you? Did you take our stuff?!” She started to shout pretty loud.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Finn seemed calmed down.

“You’re lying! You are the only one who hates Lexa and who wants to blackmail her!” Her eyes started to water.

“I swear to you it wasn’t me!” He was reassuring Clarke and it was obvious that he is not lying.

“Who else can it be?” Clarke asked waving her hands around and walking nervously up and down his room.

“Well I remember your mother was not really pleased with our relationship at the beginning and she even tried to get a restraining order once just so we don’t see each other again. Look Clarke, I understand that you and I are done. I am not trying to break you two apart. I get it. You like her more than me and I can’t do anything about it so I backed out.”

Clarke than realized… Finn is right. Her mother never liked Lexa anyway.

“I…I’m sorry Finn. I will call my mother.” She walked out in silence and grabbed her phone to call her mother.

Phone was ringing but there was no answer. She decided to go back to her place and be with Lexa. That was the only thing that could calm her down, Lexa’s hand in hers.

Front door opened and Lexa ran to hug Clarke. She didn’t let her go, she hugged her tightly and Clarke immediately felt safer.

“I’m sorry Lex, Finn is not the one who took our stuff. I think..” Clarke stopped and bowed her head which made Lexa come to her. She pulled her head up and genuinely asked: “What happened, Princess?”

Clarke looked up and said: “ I think my mother is the one who took our stuff. I think she has your phone and that she is going to use it to blackmail one of us until we break up. She never liked you a lot and that distanced me from her.”

Lexa became sad and she knew that it will be likely impossible to get that phone back.

“Hey Lex, I will get that phone back and I won’t let my mother control my life or our relationship.” Clarke said placing a gentle kiss on Lexa’s lips. She immediately pulled Clarke closer. She tended to do that, often. Their lips were parting and merging so passionately that they forgot about time. All the problems were in the past now. They spent the night together holding each other while their naked bodies were exchanging the warmth and the sweat of their love.

“Don’t worry Lex, phone will be yours and you will get it back and the rest we can buy.” Clarke said placing her hand on Lexa’s hip and kiss on her cheek.

“I know you want to get everything back to me but I don’t need anything but you.” Lexa turned around and buried her head into Clarke’s neck.

That made Clarke giggle. She loved when Lexa did that.

“We should stay here at my place and when my mother comes home I will confront her.”

“I don’t know… Anya would kill me if she knew we are still together.”

“And you care why?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t.” Lexa replied.

The next morning opening of the front door made Clarke wake up. She knew it can’t be anyone else besides her mother. She slowly got out of the bed without waking Lexa up and went downstairs.

“Give it back to me. The phone. Give it back.” Clarke ordered extending her hand towards her mother.

“How did you…know?” Abby was shocked at first but she knew Clarke was not stupid.

“Oh please. The only two people who could’ve done that were you and Finn. I talked to him and it was obvious he knows nothing about it, so give the phone to me.”

Without a word, Abby reached to her pocket and pulled out Lexa’s phone.

“Here you go. I was only trying to protect you. She has a bad influence on you.”

Clarke grabbed the phone and looked at her mother with as much rage as she could.

“I hate you. If you so much as look at her the wrong way, I will never talk to you again and since this house is addressed to me I highly suggest you to get the hell out of it!” Clarke was pissed off and she was shouting so loud that Lexa heard almost everything.

Abby grabbed her stuff and left the house. “You will need me when you realize that she is just poisoning you.”

Clarke sat down covering her face with her hands. She couldn’t believe that her mother would do something like that. She heard foot steppes so she went upstairs only to find Lexa crying on the other side of the room.

“Hey baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Clarke placed her hands on Lexa’s waist.

“I heard everything…” Lexa started crying even more.

“It doesn’t matter, please don’t cry. She got what she deserved. I will always choose you.” Clarke wiped tears off of Lexa’s face and placed a strong and passionate kiss on her lips which were wet from her tears.

“I never wanted for this to happen. You have to know that. I will always be yours, Princess.”

Lexa placed her head on Clarke’s shoulder and grabbed her hand. Now, she felt better. She felt protected.

“Clarke.. I have something to tell you. I wanted to tell you this for a long, long time but I was afraid that you would get mad. Please don’t shout at me.” Lexa bowed her head and confronted Clarke.

“I promise. You are scaring me, please tell me what is going on.” Clarke’s eyes widened and she pulled Lexa closer.

“I… I am…”


	6. Roses of Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not uploading yesterday. Here is a new chapter. Enjoy.  
> Clarke never thought it would come to this.. Now, it's all vice versa...

Lexa knew that Clarke will kill her for this. Clarke was so protective and caring.

“Never mind, it’s nothing.” She said faking a smile.

“Lexa what is going on? Please don’t lie to me.” Clarke stood up slowly and looked at Lexa with her puppy eyes, waiting for tears to stream down her face.

Lexa took a deep breath and approached Clarke hugging her. It was now or never.

“Your mother called me.” Lexa said slowly walking away from Clarke.

“What?! When did this happen and why was she calling you?” Clarke freaked out because she clearly told her mother not to approach or even look at Lexa.

“Last week… She bought me a plane ticket to get back to Australia. But that is not all…” Lexa turned around and pulled out a letter from her jacket.

“What is this?” Clarke said taking the letter and opening it.

“Your mother gave that to me. She said that you can’t know anything about it and I couldn’t take it anymore, I’m sorry...” Lexa cried even more than before, she covered her face with hands and sat down, a few inches from the wall.

Clarke looked away from the letter and approached Lexa kneeling before her.

“Hey, it’s okay, I am glad that you gave this to me. You can’t do this, please, you have to stay.” Clarke cupped Lexa’s face, tears falling on her hands. Lexa’s tears were so warm, full of fear and pain. Clarke never liked when she cried and she always did everything she could just to wipe them away. This time she kissed Lexa pushing her against the wall and holding her hands on the wall, not caring if anyone walked in on them.

Lexa was surprised but she had no intention of interrupting Clarke doing whatever she is doing right now. She liked Clarke more than anything or anyone. This definitely calmed Lexa down and Lexa went with it. She grabbed Clarke’s hair and pulled her closer, right before she changed their positions. Now Clarke’s back was against the wall. She was clearly enjoying it; she was moaning and pulling Lexa closer although there wasn’t more space between them. Lexa left a trail of kisses down Clarke’s neck. Clarke moaned harder and closed her eyes while her hands were all over Lexa.

“How… How can you do this…” Clarke said breathing heavily.

“Oh you will see, Princess.” Lexa said kissing Clarke.

She carried Clarke to the bed and gently lowered her down on it, taking her hands and placing them on the pillow above. Her eyes were scanning Clarke from head to toe, looking for the place to give her the pleasure she needs and deserves.

“Please, just do it… Commander, please.” Clarke said desperately wanting Lexa to take her.

Lexa smiled like she knew this was coming. “Patience Princess, patience.” She said biting Clarke’s neck.

Suddenly Clarke’s phone rang. It was her mother; she came home and was looking for Clarke.

Clarke rolled her eyes and told Lexa.

“I’m sorry Lex, my mother is here, and I will do whatever I can to distance her from us.” Clarke said putting her bra on and turning around to face Lexa.  Lexa already came up to Clarke and placed her hands on Clarke’s waist, kissing her like she won’t let her go.

“Please be quick, I want to spend this time with you. I need that.” Lexa let Clarke go and got back to bed grabbing her laptop.

It was windy day and Clarke was in a hurry to tell her mother one last time to back off. This time she was mad because Abby interrupted something. Walking down the stairs she saw a woman with her mother.

“Who is that?” Clarke never greeted, she just asked what she wanted to know.

“This is someone who wants to talk to your…” Abby made one of those disgusting faces.

“…girlfriend.” She finished.

“Look mother, I don’t care why you are here, just go. Lexa is none of your concern and as for this woman; you can visit her whenever you want as soon as you tell me who you are.” Clarke was not showing any emotions.

“My name is Anya. I am Alexandra’s sister, I just came to see her, but I see that she has been busy so I will come later.” Anya said scanning Clarke and smiling.

“No, you don’t have to come later, just stay here and we will come down in a second. Here, sit.” Clarke was showing Anya the kitchen and accidentally saw her mother’s facial expression.

“She is here?!” Abby yelled.

“Yes, she is. This is my house and you are not allowed to control my life anymore. If I want to be with her I will be.” Clarke yelled back waving her hands around.

“This is unbelievable!” Abby turned around shaking her head.

Clarke always knew what to say to hurt her mother or piss her off. She did it this time also.

“Oh, and also, we were fucking upstairs until you interrupted so I have to get dressed because I’m naked.” Clarke had that evil smile on her face because she knew this would make her mother angry and disappointed.

“You just crossed the line!” Abby shouted smashing the door while leaving.

“I’m sorry; I can come some other time, really.” Anya was getting up.

“No, really, and sorry about that, I had to say something to drive her crazy so she would leave.

Anya laughed and approached Clarke.

“Look Clarke, I know about Lexa’s activities for a very long time. I am just glad that she found someone like you. You are very protective of her and I can see that.”

At that time Lexa decided to come down. She couldn’t believe that her sister is here so she ran down and she hugged her.

“What are you doing here? Why haven’t you called me? Lexa was smiling and that was rarity. Only two things could make her smile. Food and Clarke.

As soon as Lexa came, Clarke went upstairs in a hurry, not even looking at Lexa.

That scared Lexa. She started to breathe heavily and her hands were shaking.

“What happened? Why is she like that?” Lexa panicked but Anya calmed her down quickly.

“She had an argument with her mother. Her mother was rude and Clarke was so pissed that she told her to get out. Something like that.” Anya said hugging Lexa once again.

“I’m going to check on her. You just take whatever you want.” Lexa said showing in the direction of the fridge.

She quickly got upstairs and heard something she never wanted to hear again. Clarke was crying, well, it was more like sobbing. Lexa entered the room and ran to Clarke who was lying in her bed.

“Princess, it’s okay, don’t cry. I am never leaving you, you’ll always have me.” Lexa said while she was lying down behind Clarke and hugging her.

“I can’t take this anymore Lex. I just can’t.” Clarke answered. She turned around to face Lexa and closed her eyes. Lexa wiped away the tears and kissed her for a long time.

“My sister is still down there. If you don’t want to come, I will be with her for some time and I will get back to you.” Lexa managed to say.

“I am coming with you. Besides I have to meet her, she deserves to know whatever she wants.” Clarke was getting up and wiping her tears when Lexa pushed her back and sat on her.

“Thank you, Princess. You will be awarded for your courage.” Lexa stood up and she pulled Clarke up giving her a hickey.

“Calm down Commander, you will get this later.” Clarke said holding her hand on the place where Lexa bit her. She gave Lexa a smile and exited the room.

Together they got down the stairs holding hands. When Anya saw that she smiled so genuinely that you could see her intentions were clear. She loved to see her sister happy and Clarke did exactly that so she had no problem with this relationship.

“You two are cute together.” Anya said.

“Thank you, Anya. I believe we never formally met. My name is Clarke.” She said extending her hand to Anya. They shook hands.

“Nice to finally meet you, Clarke. Lexa told me a lot of things about you but never allowed me to meet you until now.” Anya said teasing her sister.

“That is not true. I just didn’t want to ruin it. I love her too much.” Lexa looked at Clarke and she saw Clarke looking at her. Clarke was happy. She was finally smiling.

They were talking and drinking coffee for hours, telling each other stuff about their life. It was already 1 a.m.

“It’s late and I should go home. Just be good and listen to each other. And you… Call me sometimes, I miss you down there.” Anya hugged Lexa and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“I will sis, don’t worry.” Lexa replied.

As soon as Anya left Clarke and Lexa got back upstairs. This time all that was needed was that long hug. Clarke just wanted to be held in Lexa’s hands so she can feel safe, feel protected. Lexa gave that to her. She gave everything to Clarke, her body, her soul, her fears and doubts. Clarke had it all.

Sun was shining through the trees and that wake Lexa up. She saw Clarke sleeping on her and she kissed her forehead. All of a sudden she felt sick. Lexa quickly got up and ran into the bathroom; she looked in the mirror. She was pale white; it was disturbing how someone can look like that. A few moments later, she threw up and sat down beside the toilet. It didn’t look good. She tried to get back on her feet.

“What the hell is happening to me? I feel so dizzy.” That was the last thing she said before she fainted.

Clarke woke up when she heard stuff falling in the bathroom. Lexa wasn’t beside her so it was probably Lexa.

“Are you okay baby?” Clarke was waiting for the answer but she never got one.

It was odd to her because Lexa was always quiet while she was sleeping. She got up and slowly walked to the bathroom. When she opened the door she saw Lexa lying on the floor surrounded with blood.

“Oh my God, Lexa! Wake up! Please baby, wake up!” Clarke panicked and ran outside to call 911. She grabbed her phone and somehow managed to call and tell them what happened. After that she got back to the bathroom, she sat down beside Lexa, her clothes soaking the blood off of the floor. She didn’t care about that. Her tears were merging with Lexa’s blood which was so warm and innocent. Ambulance came and they took Lexa away. Clarke took her jacket, not even changing her clothes. She dialed Raven’s number and called her.

“Hello Princess. You finally called; I thought tha-“Clarke interrupted her.

“Lexa is in the hospital, it’s bad.”

“Wait what?! What happened?” Raven was obviously shocked.

“I don’t know, can you just pick O and come to the hospital? I will be there.” Clarke said not waiting for the answer. She hung up.

Seconds felt like hours, minutes felt like days while Clarke was sitting in the waiting room starring at one spot, waiting for the doctors and their news. O and Raven came after 10 minutes and ran to Clarke. They froze when they saw her. She was covered in blood, her hair was messy and her eyes were red from crying.

“Princess what happened?!” Octavia yelled. She couldn’t believe what she just saw.

“I…I don’t know guys. I just want her back, alive and well.”

“She will be okay, don’t worry, I’m sure there is a good reason why this happened.” As soon as Raven said that, the doctor came out of the room and approached Clarke.

“I am afraid that I have some bad news. We ran a lot of tests and all we could find was poison. She was poisoned.” Doctor said bowing his head.

“What did you just say?! Poisoning?! Who would do something like that to her? She was an angel.” Clarke was sobbing and she hugged the first person she had on her left. Raven.

“That’s not all Miss Griffin. There was nothing we could do…” Clarke was terrified, this wasn’t happening, this can’t be happening…


	7. Roses of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is extra because I felt like I owed you guys.   
> Clarke will have to accept her new life now... It will be hard but she has to make through this...

Time stopped for Clarke. Every single moment when Lexa and Clarke were happy together flashed in front of her eyes. She was hoping that it wasn’t what she was thinking it was…

“…we are very sorry, but she fell into a come due to brain hemorrhage.” Doctor announced.

“No, no, no, no!! You are lying! She is okay! Tell me that she is okay!!!” Clarke fell on her knees, sobbing. Raven tried to hug her but she fought it. She wanted to see her. She wanted to see Lexa.

“Miss Griffin, you can’t-“Doctor tried to stop her from entering Lexa’s room, but he failed.

“Oh my God, baby, please wake up, I can’t do all this without you! Please come back to me!” Clarke took Lexa’s hand and placed her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

There was a slight change in her heartbeat. But she didn’t wake up.

When Clarke left the room she saw Raven talking to the doctor.

“What did he say?” Clarke asked Raven.

“He said they will give her two weeks and if she doesn’t-“Clarke interrupted her.

“Don’t say it! She will wake up! Her eyes were red and her face wet from tears, covered in Lexa’s blood.

“Okay, sorry, I’m just saying…” Raven knew this was affecting Clarke more than anyone else. This was love of her life, her soul mate, her one and only, lying in bed, fighting for life.

Clarke was tired of crying, of everything if Lexa wasn’t here. She took her stuff, kissed Lexa goodbye and went home. The doctor said that if there will be any changes, he will call.

She had to have a little chat with her mother so she called their butler and asked him for an address. When he told her, Clarke took her car and drove to this beautiful big mansion.

“Open up, we have to talk!” She shouted, being pissed as fuck.

“Calm down, what is going on?” Abby asked, looking relaxed like she knew nothing about it.

“What is going on? Seriously?! You poisoned her! How could you?!” Clarke shouted smashing her phone against the wall.

“I gave her a chance to leave and she didn’t want it! She has to understand that you are going to be a doctor someday and you can’t be humiliated, you deserve better!” Abby said it like it was nothing.

“What… How…How could you?” Clarke said being in total shock. “She is in the fucking hospital fighting for her life! She never deserved this! You ruined our lives! I love her and if she dies, this is going to be the last time you saw me.”

Clarke turned around and smashed the door behind her. Abby was trying to stop her but she failed, Clarke didn’t want to see her again.

“Now you will suffer.” Clarke said silently while dialing 911.

“Hello, what’s your emergency?”

“I would like to report someone for poisoning.” Clarke said without any emotions.

“Okay, tell me everything you know about that person.” Lady said.

“Her name is Abby Griffin. She lives in Saint Nicholas Avenue 43b, please arrest her. I have evidence that she did it.” Abby didn’t realize that Clarke recorded the whole thing with a voice recorder. When she smashed her phone she made her mother talk because Abby thought she was safe.

“Can you please tell me your name so we can contact you?”

“Sure, my name is Clarke Griffin.” She said and hung up. She wanted to visit Lexa again.

Clarke took her car keys and drove to the hospital where Lexa was lying. At least she thought Lexa was lying there.

She entered the hospital and everyone was in panic. Doctors were running around like crazy. Clarke asked a nurse what was going on.

“One of our patients went missing half an hour ago. We are looking everywhere for her…” Nurse said while answering the phone.

“Her? Who is she?!” Clarke had so much hope.

“Give me a second to check. Her name was…Alexandria, Alexandria Woods.”

Clarke’s heart was beating so hard, she needed to find her. The only place where Lexa could’ve been was Clarke’s house so she rushed to her car and drove back home.

Lexa was sitting on the porch, pale while, she was freezing. The first thing she did after she saw Clarke was hug her.

“How are you awake, weren’t you in a-“Lexa interrupted her with a kiss. Then she got closer to Clarke so she can hug her.

“I didn’t have brain hemorrhage. The doctor is one of Anya’s friends and he said that in case your mother shows.” Lexa told Clarke everything.

Clarke tightened the grasp around Lexa’s cold and weak body and took her to the house. She needed to keep her safe now.

“Hey, Lex, umm… I have to tell you something.” Clarke stated while taking off Lexa’s coat.

“Sure, what?” Lexa said with her soft and weak voice.

“My mother is not going to harass us or you anytime soon. She is going to prison. I called the police and I gave her away. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.” Clarke approached Lexa and kissed her softly, cupping her face.

“But…But she is your mother…. You can-“

“She stopped being my mother the moment she harmed you.” Clarke said in anger.

Lexa knew that if Clarke made her mind, you can tell her whatever you want but she won’t change it so she didn’t even try.

“I need to take a shower. Do you have anything to wear?” Lexa said while going upstairs.

“You can take my shirt, like always. “

Clarke took some popcorn and she sat on her bed, turning on Netflix. The sound of shower made her curious and she wanted to join Lexa so bad. She couldn’t take it anymore so Clarke entered the bathroom.

“Whoa, hey Princess. You need anything from here?” Lexa said covering herself.

“Yeah, I need you.” Clarke said pulling that towel off of Lexa and entering the bathtub. Her kisses were caring but harder than usual. Clarke’s hands were all over Lexa as she pulled her up and backed her against the wall.

“Wow, Princess, I never knew you could-“

“Shut up” Clarke said trying to kiss her but Lexa replied with something that made Clarke even hornier.

“Make me.”

At that moment, Clarke grabbed her hair and pulled her a little bit back so she can give her a hickey.

Lexa moaned, sank her nails into Clarke’s back and pulled down leaving a visible nail mark.

“You will have to pay for this, Commander.” Clarke said looking at Lexa like she will tear her apart.

“Sorry Princess, I can’t control my actions around you.” Lexa said pushing Clarke inside the room and on the bed. Lexa sat on Clarke and started to kiss her neck, biting from time to time. She was holding Clarke’s hands so she can’t do anything and that was killing her. Lexa liked to provoke.

“Commander, please, let…oh my… God…” She was moaning at Lexa’s ear while Lexa did what she did the best. “Commander, please… I need you to… to make me…” she was getting closer when Lexa sneaked her hand into Clarke’s pants-

“Oh my… Commander, please, I want to… I want to…aaah” Clarke grabbed the sheets and pulled Lexa closer while biting her neck.

“I told you, patience Princess…” Lexa left a trail of kisses on Clarke before Clarke changed their positions and started doing Lexa. She did not wait a second, she wanted to give Lexa the pleasure that she deserved so Clarke started rough.

Lexa moaned loud before pulling Clarke closer to her and sliding her tongue in Clarke’s mouth. They made love for a couple of hours before someone rang the bell.

“Just ignore it…” Clarke said, fully concentrated to Lexa’s moaning and her breathing.

Ringing didn’t stop and Clarke had to open the door.

“I guess we will continue later...” She said while putting on some random shirt she found on the floor.

When she came downstairs and opened the door, O and Raven entered without invite.

“Hey Princess, we came to have a girls night, we know you need it and-“Lexa was coming downstairs and they all looked at each other in silence.

“Oh, we didn’t know you had company… Naked company...” Raven said being confused.

“Hey Raven, O. And by the way I have a shirt on so…” Lexa said fixing her hair as she was going downstairs. She immediately kissed Clarke and took her hand.

“We can come some other time. As I can see, you two are busy so Raven, let’s go.” Octavia said and started to drag Raven outside.

“No, no, stay. We can have a girls night, right Lex?” Clarke asked.

Lexa felt something was wrong, her sight was blurry and she started to lose balance.

“Are you okay, baby?” Clarke asked approaching Lexa slowly and grabbing her hand.

“Yeah…yea… I am-“Lexa said and fainted.

Clarke thought that she is going to lose her again. She was freaked out and told Raven to call 911.

“Baby, wake up, can you hear me? Please…” Clarke begged over Lexa’s body and after a couple of minutes Lexa woke up.

“Clarke…” She said being obviously weak.

“Hey sweetie, I am here. Are you okay? What happened?” Clarke asked grabbing Lexa’s hand.

“Yeah, I just didn’t eat much, it’s okay…” Lexa said trying to get up.

They all went upstairs and lie down on the bed, turning on some TV show. Clarke hugged Lexa and she quickly fell asleep.

“Is she sleeping?” Octavia asked, smiling quietly.

“Yeah, she has been through a lot today.” Clarke said kissing Lexa’s forehead.

“Hey, Princess, someone is calling you.” Raven said eating popcorn and watching TV with her legs crossed. “Do you want me to give you the phone?”

“Yeah, sure, can you just check who is calling?” Clarke said.

“It’s someone named Anya, you know her?” Raven asked.

“Oh shit… I haven’t told her about the accident. She must’ve called the hospital. She will murder me in cold blood.” Clarke stated, shaking her head.

“Deal with it tomorrow!” Raven said throwing the phone to the other side of the room.

They watched Netflix for quite some time before O and Raven left. Clarke covered Lexa with blanket and went to the balcony… She needed to free herself from it all… So she…


	8. Roses of Midnight Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what I am without you. This is what I am without your presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not writing in a while, I wasn't home. I will be posting new chapters over the days.

****

All Clarke could think about was how hard it has been for Lexa and her in the past couple of days. She looked up and started crying, looking at the beautiful shine of the stars. I wish I could just be happy with her... She thought to herself. Suddenly, Clarke heard Lexa talking quietly. She thought that Lexa woke up but only half an hour passed.

“Lexa?” She said slowly walking inside.

“No…no, please, no.” Lexa was having a nightmare and even then, she looked like an angel to Clarke.

“Hey Lex, it’s going to be alright, I am here. I am here…” She said taking Lexa’s hand in hers and slowly getting on the bed beside her.

“Princess...Can I talk to you?” Lexa looked up into Clarke’s eyes. They were so beautiful. Bright blue, like an ocean, like the sky…

“Anything Lex.” She tightened the grip around Lexa’s hand and kissed her forehead.

“I am going out of town for some time. To sort some things out.” She said sitting up.

“Oh, okay, like a weekend? I can make you something; you just have to tell me when you’re coming back.” Clarke said looking into Lexa’s lips, smiling. Those lips were everything she ever needed, wanted and desired.

“No, Clarke... Not a weekend.” She said slowly standing up and walking to the window. When Lexa bowed her head Clarke knew what she meant. She is leaving for a long time. “No, Lexa no! I just got you back, you can’t leave. Whatever it is we will get through this!” Clarke jumped off of the bed and rushed to Lexa. While Clarke was panicking, they both overheard TV news. Abby Griffin was released from prison later today, bail was paid. Clarke’s jaw dropped, this is not happening...

“Yeah...” Lexa looked out of the window and Clarke understood... This is the reason why Lexa is leaving. At least she thought it is.

“Lex, don’t go because of this. I will never let you out of my sight and she won’t be able to approach you. I promise I will keep you safe.” Clarke sat on the bed with tears about to stream down her warm cheeks.

Lexa now focused on Clarke. She sat beside her and placed her hand on Clarke’s. Clarke turned her head away from Lexa and tears just rolled down her face. She couldn’t stop them anymore. She didn’t want to.

“Princess, please, look at me.” Lexa said with shaky breath.

Clarke stood up and walked away. It was more like running. She locked herself into the bathroom and sat down on the cold floor her back against the door.

Lexa rushed to talk to her. She sat down on the bedroom floor and placed her hand on the door.

“Baby, I’m sorry. Please open the door, we have to talk.” Lexa begged.

I am just sick of this pain and anger. I can’t hold on anything anymore. Lexa is everything to me and this is not helping. Not at all. – Clarke thought to herself trying to hold back her emotions. She failed, her crying out loud stroke Lexa right in her heart. She could feel her heart shattering into million pieces like a crystal glass.

Clarke opened the door, her face was emotionless. Her eyes were not shining like any other time she looked at Lexa. This time it was different.

“Do what you have to do. I will, as always, be waiting for you. Nothing is going to change. There is just too much that time cannot erase.” Clarke hugged Lexa like they were just friends, like she just met her. That terrified Lexa, she knew Clarke was hurt, but this was too much even for Clarke.

“Princess, Wha-“Clarke interrupted.

“Don’t. You don’t get to walk away. And if you do, you have to know that this will destroy me. My heart will shatter into million pieces and all that I have been living for in the past couple of months won’t exist anymore. When I needed you most you were here... Now you are leaving. After this, know that this meant the world to me and you took it away.” Clarke said, looking through Lexa. No emotions just wet cheeks and red eyes from crying her soul out. She took her jacket, walked out and left Lexa in shock.

“What have I done..?” Lexa said feeling warm tears on her cheeks and her neck.

Clarke went to her garage and took her Lamborghini Aventador even though she knew this wasn’t a smart idea. Hearing a car from outside, Lexa peaked out and saw Clarke driving away.

“No,no,no! She is going to do something stupid!” Lexa grabbed her phone and dialed Clarke’s number. No answer.

Hours and hours have past and not a single text or call from Clarke. Where is she? Lexa thought to herself.

Morning was already here and sun was killing Lexa because she only slept for like two hours. All the other time she was waiting by her phone, worrying about Clarke. When she looked around her she saw all of her stuff at one place with a note saying:

This is all I’ve found.

If I find something else I will send it to you. Drive safe.

Clarke

 

Lexa felt that stupid feeling again. She felt her heart breaking but she had to go. She had her reasons and it was best if Clarke believed that she left because of Abby. Lexa couldn’t tell her what was going on so she took all of her stuff and in no time, she was gone…

Octavia and Raven were walking down to Hersey’s, talking about how they will celebrate Raven’s birthday. They usually had parties in Clarke’s house so they thought this year they can do the same thing.

Octavia decided to call Clarke and ask her because Raven’s birthday is in two days.

“She’s not picking up.” Octavia looked at Raven and narrowed her eyebrows.

“Isn’t that her car?” Raven pointed in front of them and she was right. Her royal blue Lamborghini was parked in this blind alley.

“What is she doing there?” Octavia said crossing the street without even looking if someone is coming. Raven grabbed her hand and pulled her.

“Slow down buttercup, she ain’t going nowhere.” Raven said looking at her.

When they came to this dead end, they saw Clarke sitting alone on the stairs in front of this burned building which was covered in graffiti. She was smoking.

“What the hell are you doing?! Drop that cigarette, what is wrong with you?!” Octavia yelled at her and Raven joined. Clarke hated cigarettes. She was against them in every possible way.

“Leave me alone.” Clarke inhaled the cigarette smoke and she didn’t even look at them. She looked like this just one time. When her father died. They knew it was serious.

“I am not going anywhere!” Raven said and O joined.

“Just leave me the fuck alone!!” Clarke shouted and threw an empty bottle of vodka at them.

Raven stumbled back into the container and pulled Octavia with her. Both of them stated that they can’t leave her like that so they called her butler to come and pick her up.

He arrived just when they left, but on his surprise, Clarke wasn’t there.

 

On the other side, Lexa was traveling. She was constantly looking at this picture she had of them. They were so happy than… - She thought to herself. “We will be this happy again.” She said out loud while looking at the mountains tops covered with snow and evening sun shining its last beams…

When she finally arrived, Lexa threw herself on the couch and just fell asleep. In the morning she dialed her doctor’s number and called him.

“Hello, it’s Lexa, I am having magnetic resonance imaging later today, am I correct?” She said looking at her medical papers.

“You are correct Miss Woods. How were you feeling since our last appointment? Did you experience any seizures or faints?” Doctor asked.

“A couple of times, actually. It is really hard living like that; I want to have that surgery you insisted on.”

Since she was 15, doctors discovered that Lexa had tumor.

Lexa knew the first time she fainted that it wasn’t a lack of food that day... Her tumor started to affect her ability to live a normal life but since she hasn’t had any money for that surgery, she kept that a secret in front of Clarke. She knew if she told Clarke anything that it would affect their relationship. Clarke would be worrying constantly and it would not work. This way she made it all easier. She thought that if Clarke knew and if she died, Clarke would blame herself because she has money and Lexa needs it for her treatments.

Days have passed and they haven’t spoken. One evening Lexa came home from her appointment and turned the TV on. News was starting in a couple of minutes so she settled down on couch and waited. First thing that she saw was Clarke’s picture. Her jaw dropped and she stopped breathing for a second.

“ _Later today police announced that a young woman, Clarke Griffin, is listed as missing, she disappeared two days ago. She was wearing black jeans, white shirt and blue leather jacket. If you have any information, please contact 911.”_

Lexa stood there paralyzed. She knew this was her fault. She knew what happened.

“Why?! Why are you doing this Princess...?” Lexa grabbed her phone and dialed Clarke’s number. She was shaking like never before. “Oh God... Just let her be safe until I return.

Clarke was sitting outside some abandoned house in Louisiana when she heard that someone was calling her. She put off her bottle of vodka and her cigarette and pulled her phone out of her pocket. It said - Lex <3

“You again…fuck this.” She threw her phone in the river in front of her and grabbed her bottle, took a sip and smoked that cigarette.

“You did this Lexa; this is what I am without you.”


	9. Roses of Nemesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is love enough to solve every problem? Let's see..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is not as long as the rest, but tomorrow is the day that another chapter is coming, so enjoy while it lasts haha *evil smile*

Police was already looking for Clarke non-stop for the last two days and they thought that her phone signal would lead them closer to her but as soon as she threw her phone into the river, she took off. Lexa was in contact with the police all the time, but nothing new came up. She called her doctor; she wanted to postpone her surgery.

“Hello, Dr. Richardson? I wanted to ask you is there any chance for me to postpone surgery? I have some personal issues that need to be taken care of.”

“Sure, but since your condition is not good, you will have to be back no later than next Friday.” He said, being concerned.

“Will do, Dr. Richardson!” Lexa said already packing her things.

Meanwhile, Clarke left her car in front of that abandoned house in Louisiana where she was staying last night and left. She decided to go on foot and after 15 minutes she had found a store which had all kinds of clothes and sunglasses. Clarke decided to buy another clothes and a pair of sunglasses just to keep her low profile. She bought a bus ticket and left Louisiana.

When police registered her phone signal on an abandoned farm next to the river, they immediately rushed there. On their way to that farm one of the officers called Lexa.

“Miss Woods, we registered Clarke’s phone signal near the river in Louisiana, do you have any knowledge of someone close to her living there?” Officer asked.

“Louisiana?! Oh my God, river?! No, this can’t be happening, she has no one there!” Lexa was terrified and shaking, trying to calm herself down by controlling her breathing.

“We will call you as soon as we know something more.”

Lexa was unable to wait, she called Raven and Octavia.

“Hey, girls, they have news on Clarke. She was in Louisiana, couple of hours ago, they registered her phone signal there. Can you come and pick me up, I want to go there.”

“We are on our way; Monty and Jasper are with us! Hold on Lex.” Raven said.

In 20 minutes they picked up Lexa and started to drive to Louisiana. When they got there, police was already searching the river and the car she left behind. This scene shocked Lexa; she could feel tears welling on her eyes.

“This look horrible, what if something happened to her?” She asked, falling on her knees as tears were streaming down her face.

Monty kneeled down in front of her and hugged her.

“Clarke will be okay, I know this look awful but I’m sure she has her reasons for it.”

She does, I am the reason. – Lexa thought, but couldn’t confess to them.

Monty gestured the others to go and find some more information about her car and stuff that police found around and he will stay with Lexa.

The two of them talked sitting in the middle of nowhere, surrounded with police and red/blue lights, yellow police “Do not cross” tape while sun was going down, for quite some time.

“I just want her back…” Lexa sobbed.

“We all do, we will find her.” Monty hugged her and slowly got up.

“Will you be okay here alone for a couple of minutes? I have to go give a statement.” Monty looked at Lexa, who was still sitting on the dirty road like path.

“Yeah. I need some time alone anyway.” She said looking in the distance.

He left and she was still there, alone, without life purpose. Clarke was God knows where, probably alone and hurt. All she wanted was for Clarke to come back and be safe, she was frustrated knowing that she can’t keep Clarke safe, that she can’t protect her. Suddenly she felt dizziness and shortness of breath. Everything around her was blurry and she blacked out. When she woke up in the nearest hospital without any memory whatsoever she felt great. That was until she had this one picture in her mind and she couldn’t place this girl anywhere in her life. She was beautiful with blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes. Lexa felt some strong connection between them but that was it.

Meanwhile, Clarke had settled in Kansas in some hotel near the border. She was tired of running but she didn’t want to talk to anyone. Except Lexa of course, even though she was mad at her. She didn’t have much money but coming back home is not an option. Abby is worried sick, all of her friends are looking for her and waiting for a call but what Clarke needs is one person, one hug and one soul…

“Do you have your phone here?” Nurse asked Lexa.

“I… I don’t know, if I do it should be in my purse.” She said holding her head.

“I’ve found it. Is this the girl you are seeing all the time?” Nurse showed Lexa the picture she had of Clarke on her phone.

“Yes! Yes, that’s her! Wait… Why do I have her photo on my phone?” She was confused.

“I have no idea; there are a lot of them… It seems like you two were quite good friends.” Nurse points on a picture where Clarke holds Lexa, her arms wrapped around Lexa’s waist.

Lexa stops breathing, she wants to remember but she can’t.

“Can you please leave me alone?” She turns her head in another direction and looks through the window.

“Sure...” Nurse quickly walks out.

Lexa grabs her phone and looks at it. “Who are you…?” She wants to figure it out so bad but all she can remember is her smile.

 

“Monty, where did you leave Lexa?” Raven asked looking around.

“She is-…right-… there…” He looks around and can’t see her.”But she was here, I told her to wait!”He turned around after he felt someone’s hand on his shoulder.

“Jasper, what’s wrong?” Octavia asked taking a step forward.

“They took Lexa. Ambulance took her, she blacked out.”

“Again?! What is happening here?!” Raven shouted raising her hands.

“Should we visit her? We can’t leave her alone now; she is in a lot of pain.” Monty stated.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Raven already started walking to her car and the four of them quickly got to the hospital.

Jasper stopped one nurse and asked for Lexa’s room and as soon as she told them, they started running towards it.

“Lexa, oh my God, we were so worried!” Raven tried to hug Lexa, but she dodged and looked at Raven with suspicious look on her face.

“Wh-…What?” Lexa looked around but she couldn’t recognize anyone.

“What are you doing?” She got out of her bed and backed off until she hit the corner of her room.

Octavia looked at her, than at Monty and the rest of the crew. She hoped that it was all just a joke.

“Lexa, what’s wrong? It’s us; we are your friends…” Monty tried to get closer but she started shaking, looking scared so he raised his hands up and took a step back.

“Who are you people?” Lexa finally said.

“What do you mean? Stop messing around, it’s not funny!” Raven got pissed and grabbed her arm.

“Please, don’t hurt me! I am sorry!” Lexa started crying as she covered her face with her hands.

At that moment, nurse walked in.

“What’s going on here?! Let her go! She doesn’t remember you!” She pulled Raven back and calmed Lexa down.

“You…you don’t remember?” Raven was in a full shock. Octavia just closed her eyes. “I knew it...”

Nurse explained to them outside the room that she has brain tumor that affects her everyday life. And amnesia she has is a result of that. Also she explained that she remembers only one person, she doesn’t know from where but she knows how she looks.

“She?” Jasper asks.

“Yes, she described her as mid height, blonde, curly hair, blue eyes.” Nurse looked surprised when Monty recognized her.

“It’s Clarke. She remembers Clarke.” He bowed his head and breathed out.

“Can you bring her over here; maybe she can be her trigger. Many patients remember that way.” Nurse hoped, not knowing that Clarke is nowhere to be found.

“She…She is missing, police had been looking for her for the past three days, but nothing yet.” Octavia explained and Raven couldn’t take it anymore, she needed her friend. She walked away.

“Raven, where are you going?” Jasper asked running behind her.

“I am going to find Clarke! She needs to be here!”

“If police can’t find her, how are you going to do it?” He put his hands on his waist and looked at Raven with so little hope.

“I have to find the way, Lexa is-“Something caught her attention, doctors were running around. She heard one of the nurses yelling: “Her heart stopped! I need help, she is slipping away!"


	10. Roses of Assemblage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you thought that she will surrender that fast, you were... I won't tell :)

“It’s over… She is dead.” Raven thought to herself.

“Move it guys, we will start the reviving process in the OR!” Doctor yelled at his nurses and fellow students.

After a couple of minutes, they got her pulse back, weak one, but she had good chances of surviving. Lexa felt like she had no problems or worries in her life at that moment. Bright light started to vanish and soon, she saw two doctors around her.

“How do you feel Miss Woods?” Doctor checked her eyes for any sign of concussion.

“I… I don’t know… Good I guess.” She tried to get up, but nurse stopped her.

“I would like to begin your surgery as soon as possible if you agree.” Doctor stated.

“Sure, I agree. When do you want to do it?”

“I was thinking now.”

In no time, Lexa was lying on the operation table receiving anesthesia. The doctor explained to her all the risks, but she wasn’t scared… She wanted to remember everything and this was the only way.

On the other side, Clarke had it enough. She never wanted to return by herself, so she took off her sunglasses and hat that she bought couple of days ago and sat at some bar called Art, waiting for police to come and take her. Her face showed no emotions, no regret, nothing. Some people recognized her from TV news right behind her and called the police. Police came after an hour and approached her carefully; they didn’t want to scare her away.

“Are you Clarke Griffin?” Policeman asked, holding his hand on the gun, just in case.

“I am.” That was the only thing she said since than to the point of her return home.

When they were done with questioning, they took her home. Her mother Abby ran out of the house and hugged Clarke as hard as she could.

“What were you thinking?! I was so worried! I thought that something happened to you!” She looked at Clarke, but Clarke looked through her.

“If you are here…Where is Lexa?” She asked when she finally started to think about everything that she had left behind.

“Clarke…There is something you need to know…” Abby took her arms in hers and took a step forward. When Clarke realized that something is not right she took a step back, looking at her mother with doubt in her eyes.

“What are you saying, mom?”

“The only thing I know is that she went with Raven, Octavia and those two boys to look for you.” Abby didn’t have time to react and Clarke was already taking one of her cars. She needed a new phone so she went to the nearest phone store to buy one. When she grabbed the first one and cashed 600$ for it, she immediately dialed Lexa’s number. Because Lexa was in surgery, Raven took her phone and looked at it. It was unknown number.

She was waiting and suddenly Raven answered.

“Hello? Who is this?” Raven walked out of the room to her friends and pointed at Lexa’s phone gesturing that she doesn’t know who this is.

“Raven? Why do you have Lexa’s phone?” Clarke finally said.

When Raven realized it was Clarke, she got back to the room and started to whisper.

“Clarke?! Where the fuck have you been?! We were worried sick and-“Clarke interrupted.

“Raven where is Lexa?”

“She… She is in surgery.” Raven could hear Clarke breathing heavily and starting to cry.

“Which hospital?” That was the only thing Clarke asked after her heart broke apart completely.

“Louisiana Medical.” Raven hung up and walked out of the room.

“Who was that?” Octavia asked her, slowly getting up from the waiting chair.

Raven didn’t know whether to tell her or not, but she figured if Clarke is coming, they will find out sooner or later.

“It was Clarke, she is coming.”

They didn’t even have time to react. She was here. They aren’t really sure how long had it passed since their conversation because minutes felt like hours while they had to wait for the doctors to finish the surgery.

All of a sudden they saw her. She was okay; there was no cigarette in her hands, no vodka. She was back.

“I want to see her. Where is she?” She couldn’t pay attention to her friends, Lexa was her priority now.

Octavia was just about to tell her that she is in surgery when doctor interrupted.

“She will live. Surgery went as planned and we took everything out. We hope that she won’t have any more trouble with passing out and headaches.” He said looking at Clarke.

“I’m sorry, are you Clarke?” He wanted to be sure.

“Yes, I am. What do you mean by “We took everything out.”?” She seemed scared and she was. She was terrified, thinking about million times at once.

“Miss Woods had brain tumor. We agreed to keep it all a secret because she hadn’t had any money for this surgery but when all of this happened we had to do it.”

Clarke sat on the chair behind her looking shocked. She thought that she is going to pass out.

“Why would she keep this a secret from me?!” She didn’t see the obvious.

“She knew that you would pay and she never wanted that.” Doctor walked away and left Clarke alone with her friends.

They stayed at the hospital and slept beside Lexa’s room.

When morning struck, they slowly, one by one, opened their eyes. Monty offered to get them some coffee and everyone agreed.

“She woke up.” Nurse approached and looked at the Clarke the same way as the doctor did.

“Can I see her?” Clarke begged.

“You can all go inside, just don’t force her to anything. She is still weak and doesn’t remember anything.” When Clarke heard that, her heart stopped. Doesn’t remember anything?! But…I need her to remember. Remember something. - She thought to herself.

When they entered the room one by one, Lexa was just observing. Clarke was the last one to walk in. Lexa’s reaction when she saw her assured Clarke that she didn’t forget her. Even the monitor which observed her heart rate started beeping faster.

“I remember you.” Lexa said looking at Clarke like she just saw a unicorn. “You are that angel from my dreams.”


End file.
